SoundClick Widgets

Rabbit Babies

C- Good afternoon, all. You are listening to Caterpillar Chat. We have the white rabbit here with us today from Alice’s Adventures In Wonderland. Might we get a round of applause for the white rabbit?
WR- Thank you, thank you.
C- How are you on this fine day?
WR- Just fine, thank you. I wasn’t late, was I?
C- No, I believe you’re right on time.
WR- Good, I always seem to be late!
C- So I’ve heard. What is it that you were so very late for anyway? Everyone is dying to know.
WR- What do you think? I said I was late for a very important DATE! I was supposed to take my wife out for tea at the Hatter’s.
C- Well I do hope she forgave you for being late.
WR-Oh, she was very, very understanding.
C- I hope so, cause she has something she needs to tell you.
WR- What are you talking about?
C- I’ll let her tell you. Let’s say hello to the white rabbits wife, Mrs. Rabbit.
WR- What are you doing here honey?
MR- I came here to tell you something.
WR- What?
MR- I’m late.
WR- Oh, that’s alright. I was late before.
MR- No, I’m LATE.
WR- So was I…
MR- NO, I’m LATE!
WR- Ooohhhh… That’s alright, we’ve always wanted a family.
MR-That’s not all.
WR- What else is there Honey?
MR- They belong to the March Hare.
WR- Are you BEEPing kidding me!?
MR- No, I’m sorry.
WR- I’ll kill him! Bring that BEEP out here!
C- As you wish.
WR- What the BEEP!?
MH- WHAT!? I’ll mess you up homes!
MH- Don’t be mad at me ‘cause you aren’t man enough for her!
WR- Not man enough!? I’ll show you man enough!
MH- What are you gonna do!?
WR- I’m gonna kick your BEEP!
MH- Bring it, you BEEPing BEEP!
C- Alrighty then, SECURITY! That’s all that we have time for today. Please tune in next week when we all get to find out who Alice’s baby’s father REALLY Is!

Cheating First Ladies

*Attention what you are about to hear is absolutely not true.*

Oprah- Wlecome to today's show! On today's show the topic will be cheating first ladies.We have the President Obama and his wife Michelle on the show with us today. Michelle is here to tell Obama a secret.

Oprah- Michelle, what is your secret you need to tell Obama?

Michelle- Well Oprah, I have been holding a secret from Obama for a really long time. It's going to hurt me to tell him. I have been cheating on him for 6 months with McCain.

Everyone- Booo Booo Booo

Oprah- Well Michelle are you ready to tell Obama?

Michelle- Yes, I am ready to tell him.

Oprah- Ok. Mr. President Obama come on out.

Obama- Hello Oprah.

Oprah- Mr. President Michelle has something to tell you. Michelle any time your ready.

Michelle- Baby you know I love you, but I have been cheating on you with John McCain for 6 months now.

Obama- What? Why? What's he got that I don't?

Michelle- Nothing, I love you. He don't matter. It was a stupid mistake.

Obama- It's ok. I love you too. As long as you promise never to do it again.

Michelle- I promise!

This is the Mushroom Factory

Welcome to the Mushroom Factory!

Caterpillar: Welcome to the Mushroom factory! What can I help you with?
Alice: Well Mr. Caterpillar what do you have?
Caterpillar: Well here in the factory we have many things such as potions, cakes, and five wonderful flavors of different kinds of mushrooms.
Alice: OH all those things sound delightful but see I have kind of a little problem.
Caterpillar: Well what’s the problem Ms. Alice? I’m sure we can find something to your liking.
Alice: All my life I have had a desire to be able to stay the same size.
Caterpillar: The same size! What do you mean the size?
Alice: Ever since I’ve been down here in this hole, I’ve had this problem of growing or shrinking constantly, and I’m sick of it
Caterpillar: Well Ms. Alice I’ll see what my cooks in the back can do for you.
Alice: Oh thank you Mr. Caterpillar!
Caterpillar: Duchess, Queen… Alice needs you to make her something that will stop her from growing and shrinking… like some of our famous squashed mushrooms.
Duchess: Oh yes, squashed mushrooms with a little of our special secret ingredient will for sure do the job! I’m just positive that this will make her stay normal FOR-EV-ER! HA HA HA!
Queen: Our secret ingredient? har har har! I’m sure she will get exactly what she wants… NORMALITY!
Duchess: Come on Queen, we had better get to work if we want to make sweet little Alice back to the perfect angel she once was.

The Queen and Duchess begin working on the squashed mushrooms to fix Alice’s problem, they should be done in a few minutes!
(DING DING!!!)
Queen: Here you are Caterpillar; tell Alice I hope she gets well soon!
Caterpillar: Thank you very much ladies. Here you go Alice, the Queen, Duchess, and I all hope that these mushrooms do the trick and you go back to your normal state! See you later, goodbye!
Alice: Thanks for your kindness Caterpillar. See you soon, but hopefully not because I’m back in here begging for more help! Goodbye.
When Alice returned home, she consumed the mushrooms and immediately became dizzy and tired, then all the sudden she heard a KLUNK! The Queen always wanted her beheaded so she added the special ingredient which made her head fall off.

Rabbit Lovers

Rabbit Lovers
N: Alice follows the rabbit down the hole.
R: Why are you following me lady?
A: Because you seem very interesting.
R: Well I am tired of you following me, so I will go on my way, “Don’t follow me.”
A: Fine I didn’t want to follow you anyways your just a stupid Rabbit.
R: Good, about time, noisy lady.
N: As Alice approached the tiny hole where the rabbit went she saw three glass bottles with tiny letters on them.
A: Hmmm I wonder what I should do. Should I turn around and go back or take the chance of drinking the glass bottles.
A: Well I feel like talking a chance!
N: Alice takes one of the glass bottles that had the letter R on it and drinks it and Alice turns into a hot rabbit.
A: O wow I’m look-in good. I’m a hot rabbit.
N: Alice followed the rabbit into the tunnel and has spotted the boy rabbit that told her when she was a lady to get lost.
R: Hey good looking who are you? Where you come from?
A: Well I came from the tunnel, where I have been for a long time.
R: Why didn’t you come talk to me then?
A: Because you told me to get lost?
R: oh my god is your name Alice?
A: Yes, it is I drank something in a glass bottle and now here I am.
N: As the rabbits talked and got to know each other they gradually made their way to a fork in the tunnel and saw daylight.
R: I see light again, let’s go I’m hungry.
A: Okay sounds good I’m starving.
N: The rabbits walked out of the tunnel and ended up by a house in a garden.
R: I’m going to the carrot patch.
A: Yum sounds good.
N: Both rabbits ate until they were stuffed then fell asleep.

Mad Hatter Tea

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T.V.A- So call now for your Mad Hatter Tea, it comes in all different flavors! It is so good its tea time all the time!
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T.V.A- Are you sick and tired of being sick and tired. Then you need to try the “Mad Hatter Tea” It is guaranteed to get up and running, just ask some of our customers.

Customer#1- After kemo I was sick and never wanted to get out of bed. Then a friend suggested Mad Hatter Tea! Now I have all the energy in the world! It is some kind of crazy!

Customer#2- Mad Hatter Tea gave me that there energy to chase down that there bull out there in the back 40!

Customer#3- Mad Hatter Tea helped me get over my depression after the tragic death of my youngest daughter and the disappointing actions of my oldest daughter. After she got knocked up, it’s better than zanax

T.V.A- So call now for your Mad Hatter Tea, it comes in all different flavors! It is so good its tea time all the time!
Call 1-800-Mad- Teas or 1-800-623-8327. We take cash or credit. Call Now! * For a limited time offer you get a free “Eat Me Space Cake” with your order.*
T.V.A- Are you sick and tired of being sick and tired. Then you need to try the “Mad Hatter Tea” It is guaranteed to get up and running, just ask some of our customers.

Customer#1- After kemo I was sick and never wanted to get out of bed. Then a friend suggested Mad Hatter Tea! Now I have all the energy in the world! It is some kind of crazy!

Customer#2- Mad Hatter Tea gave me that there energy to chase down that there bull out there in the back 40!

Customer#3- Mad Hatter Tea helped me get over my depression after the tragic death of my youngest daughter and the disappointing actions of my oldest daughter. After she got knocked up, it’s better than zanax

T.V.A- So call now for your Mad Hatter Tea, it comes in all different flavors! It is so good its tea time all the time!
Call 1-800-Mad- Teas or 1-800-623-8327. We take cash or credit. Call Now! * For a limited time offer you get a free “Eat Me Space Cake” with your order.*


T.V.A- Are you sick and tired of being sick and tired. Then you need to try the “Mad Hatter Tea” It is guaranteed to get up and running, just ask some of our customers.

Customer#1- After kemo I was sick and never wanted to get out of bed. Then a friend suggested Mad Hatter Tea! Now I have all the energy in the world! It is some kind of crazy!

Customer#2- Mad Hatter Tea gave me that there energy to chase down that there bull out there in the back 40!

Customer#3- Mad Hatter Tea helped me get over my depression after the tragic death of my youngest daughter and the disappointing actions of my oldest daughter. After she got knocked up, it’s better than zanax

T.V.A- So call now for your Mad Hatter Tea, it comes in all different flavors! It is so good its tea time all the time!
Call 1-800-Mad- Teas or 1-800-623-8327. We take cash or credit. Call Now! * For a limited time offer you get a free “Eat Me Space Cake” with your order.*